In my inner and outer world, I have four horses. After a near death experience several years ago and returning into my physical body, I promised God I would do all I could to become whole. In pursuing my path of wholeness, or oneness with my divine identity, I realized that to be whole I needed to find balance in my four lower bodies.
In the West we are trained by the outer environment to believe that our only body is our physical body. I have experienced that I have three other bodies – my spiritual, emotional, and mental bodies. Sometimes, I ponder about what a “body” is. To me, a body is an organization of energy or light that is unique to each person. So, we each have a fire or spiritual body that is where our energy or atomic frequency is the highest, because it is closest to our divine identity. This body enshrines our God potential and cradles our souls.
When I was pursuing deep healing to allow love and light to transform my consciousness towards living with more wholeness, in my inner world I saw my four horses. My spiritual horse is a white stallion. I experienced my spiritual horse as not being able to partner with my other three bodies because he was free and lived in higher vibrational awareness. In some ways, my spiritual horse existed in my consciousness like a mystical unicorn that sometimes showed up in the mist but was not anchored or united with the rest of me.
During my healing I created my logo for my life work: Four Horses for Wholeness. Also, while I was healing, four outer horses came into my life. Starting on the left, is Ruby, a bay Thoroughbred mare that to me is an outer symbol for my emotional body. Next to her is Mystic, a paint Shire and Gypsy cross mare that resembles my inner awareness of my physical body. To the right of her is Captain, a purebred Morgan that symbolizes my mental body. Last, on the upper right, is Monk, a paint Gypsy cross gelding that symbolizes my spiritual body.
Monk was the last horse to join my herd. I bought him sight unseen on an online auction, which took a lot of courage. One day at the law office, during a break in the middle of a deposition, I was prompted to check an online horse sale. At first, I tried to deny my prompting because I was in the middle of work. But I checked quickly and saw that this pretty, paint Gypsy gelding was selling for less than market value. So, I bid on him and did not think about it for the rest of the day as I returned my focus to my day job. At the end of the day, I received an email that I was now the proud owner of a Gypsy cross gelding.
Several weeks later, I drove to a rural place in Wyoming that resembled the lunar landscape. I got lost and was a bit frantic by the time I got to the ranch to pick him up. As I pulled in, I noticed this pony-looking horse tied up to a hitching rail. I recoiled a bit because I was not aware that I bought this short of a horse. Also, he was pretty sick with some respiratory virus. While I was examining him, I realized that I was not there to decide whether or not to buy him. He was already mine.
I shifted my tact from critical awareness about what he was not and untied him and moved towards getting to know him. He was kind and obedient and jumped in my trailer. Since then, I have fallen more in love with Monk every day I am around him.
Sometimes, I continue to misjudge Monk. He is 14.1 hands tall, which is barely taller than pony classification for horses. If Monk could talk, I believe he would tell us that he does not like short jokes and that he is fully capable of being a majestic horse. Also, since he still looks like a pony to me sometimes, my sense is that he should be gentle and a bit lazy. Well, Monk is anything but lazy.
When I ride Monk, I experience him as forceful, full of energy, strong and kind, but very forward. He is sometimes so ready to just go and cover country that I wish he would chill a bit. Riding Monk is often times not at all restful and he is hard to contain, even though he is very obedient. Another way of describing Monk, is to call him hard charging even though he never runs through my reins. It just feels like he is often on the verge of not being controlled. He is not wild, rank or anything like that. Monk is always ready to climb the next hill to see what is on the other side.
Last night, I was at dinner with good friends and I talked about Monk. She said she did not see him as being a gentle pony. I realized she was right and that made me ponder why I sometimes still thought of him in that way. Pondering my experience of Monk, redirected me to pondering my experience of my inner spiritual body.
I realize that I have lived my life driving forward all the time. Sometimes, I wish I could just slow down my inner drive because it is a fiery compelling energy to keep me moving to achieve my reason for being. Maybe riding Monk and learning from him is a path to gaining greater understanding and harmony with my spiritual body. I like to think that my inner spiritual body is majestic, strong, kind, and full of energy like Monk.
In my next blog, I will share about one of the other four horses that symbolize my awareness of the balance of my lower bodies as a means to embody wholeness. Each of us was created by God in our unique pattern of his creation. Together, let’s start a revolution for wholeness that starts at home inside us, and from that foundation, let’s transform the outer world to be the place we dream of.
Hertha L. Lund,
Founder of Four Horses for Wholeness