Last Week I Lost Perspective for Moments on My Inner and Outer Path

by | Jul 17, 2020 | Connection, Perspective, Surrender, Wholeness | 0 comments

The hill

As an attorney, I often have to face almost impossible deadlines to strategize and draft briefs and other correspondence to pursue and fight for justice on behalf of my clients.

Since the courts were shut down to proceedings for awhile due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the judges had more time to focus on reviewing and ruling on pending motions. The result for me in the last few weeks has been a flurry of court orders setting timelines, proceedings, and trials in numerous cases. Usually, the courts have a process of consulting with the attorneys in the cases to coordinate our schedules. This did not happen; I was just served notice that my life is now on a very strict timeline for the next six months.

Honestly, even though I have been an attorney for 25 years, I felt a bit overwhelmed for a time. Instead of caving into this paralyzing feeling, I took the practical next step and set up my calendar for the next 6 months. I put in deadlines and worked backwards to make sure that I and my staff of 5 would be able to meet the deadlines to serve our clients. Now, it no longer seems impossible or overwhelming.

Similarly, one day last week after wrestling with my outer projects, prioritizing and resolving my calendar woes (at least on paper), I decided I need to move my body and go see Mystic, my lovely paint mare. I looked out my window to see if I could see her across the way on the hill about one-half mile away. From my viewpoint, she looked like a tiny white spot. I saw her and I headed out towards her.

She was on top of the hill. The hill is not a mountain, but it feels like a mountain after I leave my desk chair where I have been parked for hours and hours. As I climbed this seeming mountain, I remembered that I have a body and my being is made up much more than my mind and my thoughts. I felt my body kick in gear to meet the challenge of the climb.

I looked up and see that the top is getting closer, but it still seemed far away. Yet, Mystic is up there, and I wanted to see her, so I continued in my effort. Even though it was a bit chilly on this spring May day, soon I began to sweat, and my lungs were working hard. In my climb up the hill, I came across the beaten trail created by the horses, deer and other animals who go up and down the hill regularly. I followed the trail because it is easier than making my own trail.

Finally, my head popped over the top and the vista opens. Mystic and the other horses joined and gathered around me. I took a moment to soak in all that I could see with them from the top. It felt as if I could see forever. I could see the weather forming miles away. But that storm did not impact me where I am in congruence with my horse herd.

Standing with Mystic and the herd, I looked down at my home from their viewpoint. It looked so small and so far away. Just like Mystic looked like a small spot on the hill when I was looking up from my home. Instead of seeing her as a tiny spot far I away, I could now feel her warmth and her breath. She looked at me and nuzzled my hands. What a difference movement up the path and a different perspective makes.

What is the lesson of all this?

Similar to my outer challenges last week, my inner path seemed just as overwhelming as unresolved parts of me arose and those too felt paralyzingly overwhelming. As I later climbed the mountain to join up with Mystic, earlier in the week I climbed up to my higher consciousness and I moved step by step inside to work through those inner challenges with the congruence created by wholeness.

Inside and outside, the path seems similar. If we keep moving, putting one foot in front of the other to follow the internal or external path upwards, we will reach a vista of new awareness. From this place, we can look back to where we once were and recognize that our inner and outer world looks different once we change our perspective. The best perspective and freedom comes from climbing up our inner and outer mountains.

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